Connect, Share, Have Fun......and Infiltrate
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Current Status/Location: D.O.G.S. Training Facility
Languages: Spanish, Persian, Pashtu, Cuss Words, and a ton of others, some of which haven't been invented yet
Code Name: John F. Kennedy Chamberlain, Lil Wilt
Covert Aliases: Ariza Mendoza, Vladimiro Montesinos Torres, Famoso Wash
Tough, foul mouthed and straight to the point, Wash is a veteran of 19 wars (starting 3 of them himself) and among the nations most distinguished K-9 soldiers. He’s a creative killer, a philandering lover and the most dangerous spy anywhere north of 3 inches off of the ground.
Born to a mother whose local claim to fame was her masterful use of Spanish curse words, Wash grew up in the mean streets of Peru, selling Chicklets and inviting foreigners to the door of local clubs.
Wash became an extraordinary networker, putting his Cee-Lo type charisma to work and collecting valuable intel from Soviet spies trying to circumvent the Western Hemisphere through Peru. Adept at penetrating his target’s comfort zone and pretty good with a switch blade, Wash was recruited by the American ODD (The Office of Doggy Defenders – the precursor to DOGS).
Taking advantage of his multilingual skills, personal charm and ability to blend into most any environment, the ODD quickly placed Wash on the mountain border of Brazil and Peru, where he lived among the native Rio Yavari Indian tribes to observe Soviet sponsorship of subversive groups and arms sales to Peru’s General Juan Velasco Alvarado.
In these mountains Wash discovered his pre-Columbian South American roots, unique warrior skills and his affinity for Broadway showtunes (but don’t EVER mention that to his face).
Following his service in the mountains of Peru, Wash was assigned to Singapore to infiltrate leftist groups under Operation Coldstore. Posing as a socialist hippie along with an arrogant and constantly hungry Troski, Wash was accidentally arrested by Singaporean authorities and tortured with the world’s most secure Kong before he was able to escape. Still, he collected enough valuable information to end Soviet plans for a “communist Cuba” in Singapore, complete with Birkenstock-wearing Berkeley-types.
A master of disguise and an astute gunman, Wash found himself leading shirahs in Afghanistan, herding goats in Tibet and ascending the ranks of the Hong Kong mafia.
Today, Wash is the lead instructor at DOGS and the schools most prized mentor. He teaches his students valuable lessons in strategic warfare, covert ops, and cool ways to kill, while giving them a few bad habits on the side. His favorite pupil is Rambo, who, being short with a fast punch, reminds him of himself.
Best Trick: Just one? Pfft. Fine. I can spin in circles. The others are classified.
Fun Fact: Wash ACTUALLY spent 30 days in Singaporean quarantine and a man once said a dog like Wash could fetch $20 to $40K in Singapore (pun intended).
To hear the most obscene use of the word "dossier" or to get the inside track on the best spring break spots to meet the ladies, click on Wash's profile here.
To learn how to get your puppy profiled and to view and comment on this and past CovertPuppy profiles, go here!